Rough Ride

Before anyone attacks me with ageist, sexist or plumpish nonsense and elitist stances, these are real occurrences that marked my yesterday. Matatu industry has it's shortcomings,but it has rare advantages too. Leaving the bed sitter at three for the city, I hopped into the first one. The occupants were sleepy save for the driver and the khat chewing tout. I had my location at the last seat. On my right was a middle aged man, smiling and letting saliva slip,maybe he was dreaming letting free fluids elsewhere! On my left was a lass, twenty or twenty one, good voice, glowing eyes and with the little light,I could spot curves. We made slight introductions, then she fell asleep. And I became the pillow! One hand around my neck,head on my shoulder,our ribs had a jigsaw fit. Total strangers, and we had a rhythmic breathing pattern. We crossed forests, towns and villages. She woke up as the rays of the sun showed the magnificent floor of the Great Rift Valley, Big Five Viewpoint. "Oh my! I'm sorry I fell asleep on you. Forgive my late night watching habits. So sorry." "I'm good. I have to apologise, you slept on me but awakened a lot in me. You fell on me, I fell for you." That's that. We exchanged more than words and numbers. ####### Whoever gave karma that 'b' name wasn't mistaken. My trip back had it's dose too. A second seat behind the driver's,at the corner, near the window I sat. A nice lady, armed with a green paper bag full of ripe,very yellow bananas. And well her size was twice or thrice mine. She took her sit, and half mine. That wasn't a big deal, I'm still so skeletal, probably the worst possible( how do I add weight and still a Certified Job Hunter?). Hell broke loose when she began 123-undressing the bananas- and with a funny sound, chewing and swallowing. A funny concept, small pieces spilling on my khaki. And her speed? By the time were near Limuru, the paper bag was empty! Then her sleep wasn't far. Her mass found a pillow on me. Poor lad, was all I could. Trying to push her was an uphill task. I hate matatus. Gladly, the vehicle was a box, good speed and the road free of traffic jam. Her destination was Naivasha. She left me with a funny grin. I spat bitterly. And she was sweaty! Thanks to my Verseman roll on. ##### From Naivasha, I was lucky to have a man of my size, body not age. With similar likes. He had a Daily Nation, reading all the Budget pieces. My phone was running out of power. I remembered my Nairobian. Witty, gossipy,sexy,bloggish* and well a youthful paper. With that story on Eros getting paid soft loans by the Luo daughters in the list( via uchi wa mnyama!), I peruse quite fast. Before we get to Kikopey I'm through and bored. My next-generation grandpa is done too. He suggests we swap the papers. I warn him mine is age specific, he doesn't mind. I can only go through My Network pullout, the rest are taken care of, I had watched the Budget live on television and had the pdf somewhere. My man was having fun. Softening his lips as he went through every story. He felt a bit embarrassed,but so happy to be overcome by the age nuisance. His destination was Elburgon, as he left the vehicle, he bought me 'tea' for such an informative ride. I told him when the publication is done. He quoted one of the stories, "Old Cats Too, Take Milk." I laughed as I bade him goodbye. I hope in fifty years from today, I'll not be eating tens of bananas in a PSV. Neither will I sleep on others, nor read the Nairobian and it's likes! #Nomys_Madness