He's selling like a bag of IDP flour. His ego has got a real nice massage. His stammering tongue is silencing the chatterbox machines. And well, girls are choking each other for him. JN, Josphat Ndundu is the new millionaire in the bushy village, thanks to Kamuti Prisoners Tomfoolery Department.
Ndundu has received a jackpot message this morning that a one Mr. Abdul Hussain, a director of a shipping company in UAE has lost a contact lady. He has however decided to be an asset to the clientele in East Africa and couldn't risk to stop business. That's when lady luck dangled her alternate competitive protrusions for his sucking. Abdul picked his number, sent him Ksh. 100 million as the initial amount to keep the business running.
The only little setback to the maturation of the aforementioned amount, is the activation fee, Ksh. 60 000. Luckily, JN has a good savings account with fifty thousand which he withdrew as soon as he could. The remaining amount he has promised to give 10% to whoever contributes it. Kicks are flying, noses bleeding and insults hurled as the scramble for the jackpot continues.
The given number is impatient. The transaction is bound to bounce if JN doesn't speed up. Or alternatively, the fruit to be dangled to a person with stronger muscles to chew it.
I bump into the village with pomp and noise. The newest Igo motorcycle is my newest ride and I have to part with a massive Ksh.25 per ride. As I climb down, the self appointed communications officer Manua, is already briefing me on how lady luck has landed in our bushy village. My trial to explain what it means to be victims of a SCAM, achieves nothing but division, heated arguments and the brand JEALOUS BRAT. The firm supporters gift me a few kicks and as I type this, my left index finger is getting a nice bandage as my right eye strains to see after a tour by handful of soil. Thanks to my Igo Ride chauffeur, I would be hugging Abraham's broad chest.
I hear that immediately after my departure,JN has led the village to Canaan of prosperity by sending the little fee to activate millions, wait, a HUNDRED MILLION! I must be a misleading crook who deserves death for scaring jackpot for his own. If what my friend, he who was on my side and partially defended me is anything to go by,the account will be activated in five days time. In the meantime, the contacting number has toured UNREACHABLE world.
Tomorrow,no, after five days, I'll be making a public apology to JN and Co at least to get a million bob loan to publish nonsensical satires.
#Nomys_Madness
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